I would suggest the book, “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft. It’s an exceptional study on how men become abusers. I’ll give you the short version:

1. Entitlement. These are men who believe they deserve certain things that others don’t consider to be rights — such as a partner who waits on them hand and foot, or money that appears out of nowhere to buy whatever they want, or attention when they want it. When they don’t get these things, they consider it intolerable cruelty, justifying intolerable cruelty in response.

2. It works. Want money to appear out of nowhere? Leech off your parents. That stopped working? Abuse a woman until she gives you her paycheck. Want to have sex whenever you want, however you want, and don’t want to have to consider another person’s desires, rights, or pain? Rape your girlfriend or wife.